I received my 1st premonition at the age of 15, two years after losing my ability to Lucid Dream on a daily basis. That day I woke from a terrible dream of me running away from a tornado. I then got out of bed and went to the kitchen to make myself my usual milo and toast. I then sat down n switched on the TV & to my horrified eyes I saw the tornado on the news, the same picture that I saw in my dreams not more then 20 minutes earlier. I ran to my mum & told her what I had seen & she calmed me down saying it was just a coincidence (I have found out since that these gifts have run in my family for generations and my mum has them all the time). I didn't receive a single premonition for another 7 years & since then they have never stopped. After a long break I started dreaming of Tsunami's & it continued on & off for 11 months. I would dream of my family on the beach & as I looked out to the sea I could see a white line on the horizon, each time I looked out the white line would get thicker & thicker. I would start screaming to all to run for higher ground but no one would listen, then as I looked up again I would see the wave taller then a 10 floor building swallow me & my family up. This particular dream was most common for me but I have also dreamt other different tsunami dreams throughout those 11 months, never would I have believed that they would become a reality...
On December 26, I was called by a number of friends saying that there had been an earthquake, one of my friends felt his building sway, & people in the apartment were frantically running out. I was shocked, as Malaysia doesn't receive earthquakes. Even though it was not far from where I lived, I did not feel anything. I found out that the plates under the ocean near Sumatra had shifted & had caused an 8.2 earthquake & tidal waves which had killed thousands. Another friend called me minutes later to inform me of the same tidal wave had also reached Penang Island, which is my hometown & is where my family live. I panicked & immediately called my mum, I prayed that my dreams were wrong about my family dying & to my relief my dreams were wrong about my family… but that was the only thing that didn't come true, unfortunately all the other things I had dreamt happened. Friends lost their loved ones (God rest their souls), beach side businesses & houses had been destroyed & washed away. I felt so sad for those hundreds of thousands around the world who died & those who lost everything in their lives. I'm grateful to God that she spared the life of my family as my mum was planning to go fishing with my brother & mum's partner but decided not to go as they felt uneasy, mum knew something was wrong as it was awfully silent, she went out to the garden that morning & did not hear any birds chirp or sing (which is very unusual on a tropical Island like Penang), even her Chinese robin that sings from the break of dawn till sunset wasn't singing. Thank God my mum loves birds so much or she would have lost her life.
I spent New Years day, which is also my birthday at home, I didn't celebrate but instead paid my respects & lit candles for the people who lost their lives. I felt angry at myself for not being able to give warning as I received dreams of the Tsunami for roughly 11 months, as I lit the candles I realised that I would never be the same again. I will see my dreams in a different light & take them more seriously but yet until today I find it had to differentiate between visions, premonitions, & normal dreams. I've not yet had enough experience; I have so much to learn about my gifts & life. What about all the other dreams I've received over the years of natural disasters, dreams of the end of the world? Will they come true? I'm too afraid to know, I pray they wont come to be.
After the Tsunami tragedy, I would receive terrible dreams of falling buildings, I would see myself in a building, it would start to sway & then collapse. I've had these dreams for many years, they rarely happened but this time the dreams were different. As the months went by I would also dream that I would jump out of the building before it fell & became fearful of tall apartments after sometime, for me this is unusual as I have a love of heights & have been bungee jumping & have always wanted to base jump and sky dive. I used to wake up crying to Chris (my late fiancé) he would always comfort me but I always knew it was more then a dream. The dreams became stronger, more vivid when I started to stay at his parent's house in Kayu Ara. He stayed on the 11th floor, for some odd reason the number 11 has always had some significance in my life, I've stayed at three apartments all on the 11th floor & I do not believe in coincidences. I would become uneasy in the lift on the way up, there were occasions where I would panic & ask Chris to take me back down to the ground floor. I'm sure he must have thought that I was being paranoid but months ahead on the 30th of April I found out why I had been so scared… Chris fell to his death from that damned 11th floor. I was crushed to lose the man I loved & was to marry… It is something I will never get over. By this time I realized something, if I dream of me dying, it meant someone close to me would die… all the while I thought otherwise. I wish it was me who died & not Chris but that is something I cannot change.
Once again I was truly angry, upset & disappointed with myself for not perceiving my dreams/premonitions correctly, however I get them I just hope that one day I can use them to help a situation or to warn someone before something bad happens. This might take me years, maybe ill never be able to learn but for now I can only pray & wait. I'm not saying I'm psychic or God but I know I'm not normal, I've known this since I was a child. I've always been very in touch with my emotions & can sense people's emotions very easily. Most don't even believe gift's like this exist & I will be seen as a loony bin but that doesn't phase me. It makes me laugh when many say…"your weird" because weird is only used on a person whom cannot be understood, it doesn't make me greater then others; just more in tuned to my senses. I'm not saying that seeing things before they happen is a beautiful gift, I'm saying it's a curse as well as a blessing & should be used to give light on to the world… that is what I will do… as soon as I can….
- Originally written on Thursday, May 03, 2007
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